2003-12-29 at 3:01 p.m. - a break to escape

I feel the need to write at this moment. I am giving Xanga the backseat right now because that is primarily the only journal I allow people I know to see. I have also started a photolog here if anyone is interested in taking a peek at that. Christmas was pretty good this year. A couple weeks ago my mom gave me a Kodak digital camera she won at her work's Christmas party. She works for the major hospital here and every year the chairperson or whatnot gets together with the other hospital "bigwigs" and they buy a ton of cool electronics stuff. And this is the first time in fifteen years she won something. So for Christmas, she bought me the docking station for it so now I have the rechargable batteries and I can just set the camera on it and do instant shares and stuff. That was the big gift. But I also got a lot of books, C.S Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia (ALL 7 IN A BOX SET!!!) and The Screwtape Letters. Screwtape is kind of eery. It looks at the spiritual war from the side of Satan and is written from the perspective of a major demon writing to his nephew who is a smaller demon in charge of the damnation of a person who recently became a Christian. It's rather interesting but slightly eery in some aspects.

Right now things are kind of dull. Jason is away in Kansas City at the Intl. House of Prayer for the One Thing conference. He went last year with our youth church's pastor and worship leader and this year they brought along two other guys from the youth church. They left at 3 AM on the 27th and the CV joint in the car they drove broke and they wound up not getting there until 7:30 AM on the 28th. His mom said they planned to sleep for a good part of the 28th and then were going to the evening portion of the conference that night.

I have decided that since the majority of my friends are either out of town or have recently moved (Amanda and Amanda), that I am taking this time out to get focused on what God is preparing for the new year for me. I realize that lately I just need to focus on the day to day things, living everyday to the fullest possible potential and not worrying so much about what the future holds. I also need to step away from this idea that I am going to be condemned because of the mistakes I make. I make them on a daily basis, it's not something I need to fuss over any longer. And with that, I have to come to a place where I realize that I am a God's beautiful daughter and He is calling me to be a girl of prayer. I need to realize that He is not out to take all the things I love away, but He will continually give me so much more than I can imagine. And that it's ok to ask for what your heart desires. If I have had a hard time with anything, it's grasping that concept. God wants to give you things, He truely does, but He wants you to ask for them. He already knows what you want and need, He just wants so much for us to ask of those things freely because we are His kids and He wants to love on us!

Anyways though, I thought I would write some sort of "ketchup" entry. Have a good day and enjoy your winter breaks while they are still here!

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